I Knew
by Kei Tree
Summary: Lita reflects on the end of the Silver Millennium, Nephrite's betrayal, and their love...


I Knew...  
  
Disclaimer: Hiya peoples! Here's another shortie for ya. Enjoy and   
email email email (or review!!) at inspiredthoughts@hotmail.com   
Thanks..hehe Oh yeah, I don't own Sailor Moon and am in no way   
profiting from any of my stories.  
  
  
I knew you once. I knew your mind, your heart, your soul I   
held cupped in my hands. We watched sunrises together, holding hands   
with each other as we greeted a new day. And we watched sunsets also,   
celebrating the end of another day of joy. And those were the only   
kinds of days we had for in those times, in that place, love was the   
empress that reigned supreme and we were her favorite subjects. We   
danced to concerts put on by trilling crickets. We sang songs with   
the songbirds, showing our happiness to the world.  
  
I knew you once. I knew the man you were then, I sensed the   
greater man you would become. I felt the endless potential in those   
murky amber depths, lit by the heavens on cold winter nights. You   
knew so much about life. About the pain and happiness. Your teachers   
were the stars, the patient patrons of those who had the depth to   
understand them. Your were a worthy student in their sightless eyes,   
that I'm sure, and I know that they do not balme your for your fate.   
But while they taught you great things I taught you the most important   
lesson of all, love.   
  
I knew you once. I could read your strong features like a   
map. I knew every naunce of movement, what every touch, every kiss   
meant. I knew what no other mortal did or ever would. And you knew   
me as well for in delving into the deepest reaches of your soul I   
bared mine to you as well. I accepted the demands, I couldn't have   
begun to imagine the consequences.  
  
I thought I knew you once, until Beryl stole you away. I hate   
that foul creature so. You tried to teach me compassion for others,   
even for those who have wronged me but I never did learn. Perhaps you  
were not a great teacher, more likely I was an unworthy student. She   
took you from me, that viper, stole you from our den and dragged you   
into the depths of night.  
  
I remember that evening well. It was storming, I loved the   
rain then, and we were on my balcony, drenched from head to toe. For   
a single instant I felt the dark power gather itself to spring but I   
was too slow, too slow to stop them from taking you. When the next   
lightning bolt lit up the world in horrifying detail you were gone,   
only the stench of evil lingered. I've hated, and even feared -if one   
such as I can fear- thunder and lightning since. Thunder for hailing   
the lightning, lightning for revealing the truth of your abduction.  
  
I know you now. You are not him, not the man I loved, not the   
man I trusted. Ulitmate betrayal my mind screams but my heart does   
not speak. It is silent in it's grief, sobbing quietly as it begs the  
stars for answers. It has no hold on me for I am no longer human but   
machine. Love kept me from this state of cold unfeeling numbness but   
now that too is gone. It was our ulitmate folly. We would have died   
for our love, we never contemplated killing each other but that was   
the only option Beryl left us with.  
  
I see you through unfocused emerald eyes, the fires of hell   
raging in them, filled with grief and sorrow. The men who meet my   
sword look away, not at the sight of the slim weapon stained scarlet   
with their fellows' blood, but at my eyes, my tortured, troubled eyes.  
  
You salute me and draw your own steel. And as we fight I   
begin to know you again. I cry out as you slice your blade across my   
forearm and I see you pause, relunctant to attack while I cannot   
defend myself. Interesting, even while being evil you cannot   
completely abandon your ideals of fair play and integrity. I briefly   
close my eyes in pain, I don't need to read the bejeweled sky to know   
your fate. No one working for darkness may have traits of light   
inside. It will be your death, I know it.  
  
With lightning quick movement I lunge upwards, bringing my   
sword up to parry with you, the blades ringing in defiance as they   
fight for dominance. But I forget, that for all that we are perfectly   
matched, that you were always a better swordsman than I. My height   
and strong lanky build usually gives me the advantage but you, lover,   
tower over even me.  
  
You grin, ferocious now, as you press your now realized advantage   
fully, bringing me to my knees. In this, this fight, you have another   
advantage. I remember what we were, you lover do not. You have no   
need to reach for even more extra strength to battle me. In your   
dispassionate eyes I am only another warrior, abeit one better than   
most, but only another nameless face in a sea of churning war.  
  
Your depthless eyes search my face, watching for fear but I   
show none. I am not afraid of death and despite all that has   
happened I am not afraid of you. I don't hate you either. Perhaps   
you were a better teacher than I thought, or perhaps I was a better   
student. After all, you took my world away from me and crushed it   
into a million shards of sprakling crystals, but still I do not hate,   
I do not loathe you. Perhaps compassion found a way into my soul   
after all. You bow your head in recognition of my will, my defiance   
on the eve of my doom. The sword rises quickly and cuts me down where   
I kneel on bleeding knees. I fall to the muddy ground.  
  
I named you once. I called you friend, then love, then   
lover. I do not regret it either, for even happiness that causes   
unimaginable pain is happiness still. Maybe if I never loved you   
then I would have had the strength to slay you but maybe not. I am   
not a student of the stars, I cannot read the future, but even that is   
not always enough. You saw what the future held and still you could   
not prevent any of this tragedy. I forgive you, with my last breath I   
forgive you, my love, my savior, my murderer.   
  
You look to the stars as my eyes flutter and close, your   
strong face stoic as always but your eyes, your beautiful, clear,   
burgandy eyes are anguished. You saw the truth of my soul as you   
fought me, just as I saw yours. You saw a great warrior, fearless,   
brave, and when possible, kind. You saw a woman who had so much to   
look forward to. You know that you and your allies were the ones who   
snatched it away from me and thousands of others. That knowledge   
bothers you as well as the fact that in another time and place you   
might have named me also.  
  
Friend, companion, lover. Chances lost, fleeting in their mad   
dash towards oblivion. Like snowflakes in a blizzard, each one   
special, each unique, its just a matter of catching them. You caught   
me and that, for me, is enough. My only regret is that you know not   
what you had but then that too is a blessing. You don't know what   
you lost either.   
  
I knew you once and you knew me and now, as the Kingdom of the   
Silver Millennium crashes and falls, we know each other again. Too   
late to start over, to rebuild, but not many get that chance anyway.   
I would not presume to think myself so blessed.   
  
I sigh one last time as I feel my life ebb from my tired body.   
We seem so strong, so vital, but so little can strike us down, tear us   
asunder. I sense you stoop besides my body and feel your strong   
fingers caress my dirt streaked face. I hear the softly spoken words   
of a quiet prayer, short yet dignified. I smile, lips curving upward   
in final contentment but a single tear still escapes from one closed   
eye to trail down my cheek. I sob once and then am still.   
  
I knew you once. You were my shelter, my life, my anchor in a   
universe of chaos. You lifted me up in strong sure arms and even now,   
as our world crumbles to rubble you're still by my side. But now,   
though you might have named me friend, lover, beloved, now you must   
call me stranger for Beryl took away all rememberance of me. And that   
means you've forgotten the most important lesson of all, love. I lied   
when I said I was a machine because I never had to learn to feel, not   
like you did. I've loved since the moment I first drew a lungful of   
breath and as I draw my last I love still. But yours died with your   
memories.   
  
You rise slowly and draw your sword again before continuing   
your rampage against the moon. As you cut down old acquantices and   
dearer friends you don't even blink. They look away from your eyes   
but they don't gleam with pain or suffering. Something worse resides   
there. Cold unyielding emptiness rests in their depths, starkly   
unforgiving as you strike down all who fall in your path.   
  
The stars watch on, silent for once in all the years you have   
looked to them for guidance and wisdom, but patient still. All things   
come full circle. We loved, we lost, we will love again. Silver   
light yearns to touch us, to ease our troubles, but it refrains. The   
time has not yet come for us to be taken to them, to our teachers, to   
our home, to the stars. We are still children and we still have many   
lessons to learn.   
  
I died on the battlefield that day. You did as well but as we  
lived and died we will live again. I know that I will not recognize   
you, that I won't see what I always have next time because it won't be  
right. I knew you once and I'll know you again but first, first I must   
live in ignorance. Perhaps then I will also be able to read the stars,   
will be able to truly appreciate the knowledge they hold. You're   
ahead of me in that, so wait for me lover, friend, enemy, murderer.   
It doesn't matter, not truly. For even when we hate we will hate   
with a passion that is as solid as our love. When you reach the edge  
of the stars, when they wrap you in a coccoon of silk and ivory wait   
for me, outstretch your hand and wait for I'll not be long in coming.  
  
For that, that will never change. Wheather swords or joy   
passes between us our world will consist of each other alone. That is   
meant to be and that is fate and that, that one assurance is enough.   
I don't need the stars to tell me what my destiny is. It's you   
Nephrite, only you.  
  
I knew it once and I'll know it always. Knowledge is the key   
to everything and that is one fact that cannot be changed, even over a   
hundred millenniums. When this one ends another will take it place   
and we'll be there, together, for better or worse, we'll be there.   
And one day, one day we'll know peace among the glittering stars.   
  
  
Author's Notes: Hope ya'll liked it. Email me or review, both are good! 


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